Story Telling
Back to school time! Oh boy, this elicits all sorts of memories for me.
I think my earliest “first day of school” memory was walking into my new school (West Elementary) in a new town (Carlinville) and new state (Illinois) and having a group of 20 fellow 2nd graders stare at me while two boys laughed as I was introduced to the class (yes, I remember their names and exactly what they looked like – Greg and Tony).
And I remember my first day of school in the 6th grade after moving back to Houston, 4 weeks after middle school classes had started (and cliques had formed), and this frizzy haired girl with braces had to navigate the halls of Creekwood Middle School by herself with exactly zero friends and less than zero self esteem. It took me a good month plus to find a friend and thinking about the lunch room during that time still chokes me up.
Fast forward and I remember moving into my dorm room at Texas A&M as a freshman and being heartbroken that I wasn’t in the commons of Mosher or Krueger Hall with people that I knew, but instead, since I accepted my admission late, I was assigned the disgustingness of “Motel 8-like” Fowler Hall. Oh gosh, so gross. And so lonely.
“Recently”, as a parent, I remember Meredith’s first day of kindergarten where I created pig tail styling amazingness after Mark (then 4) gave her a back to school haircut the night before. “Look Mom, I got a makeover!” ~ Meredith, age 6. And the mom screams like she’s watching The Shining and scares 4 year old who starts crying.
Mark’s first day of kindergarten was darling as he got off the bus in 100 degree Houston heat. This mamma awaiting his first sweet words of his wonderful day. She sees her son descend the big bus steps, drenched in sweat looking totally ticked. “Mom, I’m not riding that bus again. I feel like I’m gonna to throw up.”
Ahhhhh, first day of school, you always deliver all the feels.
We’ve had plenty of good first days of school too. Honest, we have. But I think we all remember and reflect on the challenging days as they often come with the best stories after the initial craptastic subsides and we are able to see perspective and maybe even humor. These first days though, regardless of a hope or dread attitude, do tend to hold hands with some stress and anxiety for everyone involved. Which can bleed into first weeks, and first months, and first semesters. These can all be challenging too.
Adage Pondering
So I’m pondering our upcoming “first days and transitions and challenges” and all that goes with this time and coincidentally came across and reflected on this picture a few days ago. Are you familiar with this quote? “An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great, so just focus and keep aiming.” Yeah, that’s nice.
The gist of this bow and arrow adage is that during periods of stress and anxiety or hurt and sadness or challenge and uncertainty (gosh, this sounds like the beginning of school), you as the arrow are being pulled back as you build character and then an imminent launch of exponential magnitude subsequently occurs. It’s a powerful hope in challenging times whether your day is simply “whomp whomp” or you are going through a period of complete and utter chaos. It’s a nice something to hang on to.
You are not alone if these new first days of school (for students, parents and teachers alike and regardless of grade or age) elicit an almost a panicked New Year’s effect that can go something like this. “Whoa, it’s a new year. It’s starting today/tomorrow/next week!
Oh no! What are my goals?
Help! Where do I belong?
I’m lost! How do I get where I’m supposed to go?
And for all that is holy, What is my purpose?”
70s and 80s kids: Do you remember Marcia Brady signing up for all the clubs in high school on her first day because she so desperately needed to be included and accepted in order to relive her junior high glory years? And then she becomes overwhelmed about her choices and time management fail and doesn’t feel like herself and Peter’s volcano blows up all over her new fake friends. Oh Marcia Marcia Marcia.
So here’s what I would tell Marcia and what I have to offer to all of us navigating this uncertain New Year and contemplating our goals and our purpose.
. . . Umm, I think we are meant to be the BOW and not the arrow.
Our hasty quest for our purpose usually ends up in “purpose paralysis”.
So many problems, so many options, so much work to get there. Forget it. Let me sleep on it. Let me read into oblivion about it. Never mind, I’ll just wait for a sign. Wait, was that a sign? Ugh, I can’t do it. I’m too old. I’m too young. There’s not enough time. Someone will beat me to it. Someone’s already done it. Someone will do it better. Wait, I don’t have everything perfectly in place.
Marcia, put down your hairbrush and stop searching for your purpose. Stop losing sleep on where you are supposed to go and panicking that it’s not happening right this very second. Stop making your stomach hurt on your unknown goals and how to get somewhere fast. Stop thinking that you are missing your flight. You are not the arrow.
Be. The. Bow.
For you non Katniss Everdeen and Hunger Game watchers, the bow is the archer’s tool used to anchor, support and release the arrow. Specifically, in action, a bow rears back along with the arrow. It’s purpose IS the arrow. It feels stress and often shakes as it moves back with the arrow. It doesn’t move the arrow – the archer does that. It doesn’t let go of the arrow – the archer does that too. A bow is simply the arrow’s support and hold. It holds steady at the front and is flexible in the back. The bow is not in charge. The bow is handled with the absolute steadiness of the archer. The archer releases the bow and the arrow separates from the bow and the archer and bow watch the arrow soar. And then the archer grabs another arrow (or even retrieves the same arrow) for his bow and loads it again.
I promise that THIS is your purpose. Stop freaking out that you’re an arrow and stressing on where you might land. Yes yes, crazy as it is, you might get to be someone else’s arrow at one time or another. Let them hold on to you and let the archer do the aiming. It’s a thrilling and scary ass ride in itself. But your REAL purpose; the REAL deal – you’re a bow.
New (School) Year’s Resolution: Find someone to help and hold today. And tomorrow. And tomorrow’s tomorrow. Once you adopt this as your PURPOSE, then your tangible purpose miraculously unfolds. You know, that purpose that we earthlings like to fixate on what we want to be when we grow up. Well, that answer is a helper. And that time is now.
Our actions like donating money and paying for Starbucks for the car behind you are wonderful, but the help I’m talking about is a true and deliberate action. Our call is to tithe joyfully but our purpose is something more.
Still lost and overwhelmed on how to be a bow? Not to worry. There are only about a trillion arrows needing a bow and our spirit usually leads us to helping those with which we can identify.
When was your arrow pulled back? A death, a sickness, an addiction, a depression, a loneliness, a failure, a separation, a betrayal, an ignorance, an anger, an atrocity, a hurt. Well lookie there. Looks like you’ve got your purpose. Find the archer. He’s got the arrows.
Concrete Meaning
You get who the archer is, right? It’s that big guy that made your bow, and all the arrows, and everything under the sun . . . oh, and the sun. His most prized bow? The most capable, flexible, steadyiest and strongest bow ever? (You know this. It’s pretty much every answer in Bible class, so give it your best guess) – yep, Jesus.
Jesus was a bow. You’d argue he was maybe an arrow, but nope. He certainly knew enough suffering to encompass every arrow but anchored by the Archer, Jesus, as a bow, launched his love through his arrows who were his disciples at the time. And then those disciples became bows with and under Jesus supporting other arrows.
While we are pondering our new year’s purpose, surely the Bible answers our journey and longing for purpose way clearer, right? Well, yes, it does . . . kind of.
Guess how many times the Bible refers to OUR purpose?
. . . thinking, thinking . . .
That answer is a big fat ZERO, my friend. As in not one time. Wait, what?!
The word “purpose” IS used in quite a few verses and contexts in the Bible but it is always preceded by HIS purpose (as in God’s) or in the case of reading MY purpose, it is God speaking to someone and he is the “my”. Some scripture in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians outlines a little closer to our earthly human purpose, but it always refers back to fulfilling God’s purpose. So if MY purpose is actually God’s purpose, then what is His purpose for me? (I’d love to outline the context of these scriptures in future blogs. Stay tuned.) This. This is what He says:
Acts 5:38 (no no)
Luke 7:30 (ruh roh)
Friends, we are not the arrow. Be the bow.
And dare to delta. ~ Amy
Outstanding my seeet friend! You are a jewel xxoo
Oh Amy, Amy, Amy, you bring light to us all. You had me at Meredith’s makeover story, then kept me truly involved challenging me to pull instead of fly! Your ability to write doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Thank you for starting my day out right!
Hugs sweet woman,
Jill
I remember your first day of school in C’ville!!! I also remember what a strong, beautiful, smart, little girl you were. You have all those same qualities, and many more to this day. And we still love you!
That is amazing. I love it. Debbie told me about what you wrote…..
Very thought provoking. My friend sent to me when Ineeded to hear those words. Anxious to read more.