May Day. Mayday.

Once upon a tender time, May Day was observed on May 1st as a transition into spring.  After the new floral blossoms were collected in late April, you would divide the blooms and place them in baskets and hang a lovely basket on the doors of your neighbors.  Doesn’t that sound nice?

And then there is Mayday, the international distress call for sailors and aviators that was coined after the similarly pronounced French word “m’aider” which translates to “help me”.

Well hand me my captain’s hat and a radio because I’m calling it. 

Dear May ~  What. Is. Your. Deal?! 

Seriously, every year.  I relate this month to what it’s like having another baby.  We look forward to it (oh spring is coming!) but have conveniently forgotten how ridiculous it is and thus are surprised and confused when it arrives.  Friends, my family is literally limping towards the finish line of these last days of school.

Exhibit 1:  My freshman daughter uses a rolling backpack to get around high school.  This backpack is not even 8 months old, but now, in May, young backpack is missing a wheel and is being drug and scraped across campus.  Hear the scraping noises.  See the growing hole on the bottom of the backpack.  We care 0.00 percent.  This is May.    

Exhibit 2:  My 7th grade son was assigned (and was miraculously aware of) AND completed a project this last month of school which involved creating a unique yet drinkable smoothie to share with the class with some specific scientific ingredient parameters.  During his presentation, the inquisitive teacher asks why he chose Half and Half as his base instead of milk.  His reply “Because my mom said she wouldn’t go to the grocery store for projects anymore and this is what was in our fridge.”  And this is May.

Listen, let’s just pose multiple choice questions to each other in May because that may be all we are capable of answering in this monthly mess.  Full sentences are not possible, therefore I have deemed May as 

“M”ultiple Choice 

“A”nd 

“Y”es/No Month. 

I need 3-4 choices or an affirmative/negative response.  It’s simply all the answers we’ve got left in us – am I right? (check the box) [ ] Yes [ ] No

Parents and Students and Teachers and Admins and Principals and Janitors and Crossing Guards and all of you supporting cast members of Mayday ~ We see you and we know that you are all sorts of done.  That wheel has long fallen off of your rolling backpack and it’s like we are all walking around hormonal and hangry (hungry and angry) and judgmental and we are out of any remnants or slivers of patience.  All of us.  Acting like this to all of us.

So if I can humbly offer a bit of advice to consider this month between your finals, fundraisers, projects, play performances, parties, playoffs, galas, graduations, deadlines and decisions.

1.) Take a breath.  You still have to breathe in that last painful mile of the marathon.  

2.) Care for yourself.  Resting and eating are non negotiable.  Hungry, tired people suck.  Chick Fil A was made for May.  So was bedtime.  Go to sleep.

3.) Be nice.  It’s hard to be nice to someone behaving like a caged toddler or drunk uncle because we are all trying to cram too many things in too few hours.  This is the surest recipe for short fuses.  So BE NICE.  Give everyone you see the benefit of the doubt.  Assume they haven’t eaten or slept in 5 days and have driven back and forth to school during every daylight hour and feel soft for them.  We are all in Defcon 5 mode.  Your attitude consists simply of referring to suggestion #1 and then smiling and taking responsibility for your energy in the proximity of others.  

4.) Pick your things.  You are the boss of your schedule.  That calendar doesn’t control you.  No, not even in May.  Maybe you just can’t get to the post game dinner because your being around knives after your week isn’t going to bode well.  Or maybe you don’t say yes to bringing snacks to the 8 zazillion end of the year parties that your cherub is a part of.  Our kids do not need to eat like English banquet kings every day in class in May.  Pick your things – which doesn’t include everything.

5.) See the finish line.  Oh we are close.  The last miles are hard.  But relief is on the way and that is called summer and summer doesn’t have a stupid early alarm clock and color coded calendars every day.  And if your summer has an alarm clock all the days then you aren’t following suggestion #2.  And if your summer calendar looks like a coloring book then you aren’t following suggestion #4.

6.) Be a solution.  Hey, if you are overwhelmed, then how about not being part of the chaos.  Parents, how about you not feeling obligated to plan and execute multiple parties for your graduate.  Teachers, please don’t make this month “worksheet month” because you need to log a minimum number of grades.  We are dying here.  In class participation grades are your friend.  Students, don’t give projects and presentations emergency status and wait until Sunday night and while you study for your finals, remember that you’ve been to class and cramming is pretty ineffective.  And let’s all give ourselves permission to find our reset at home instead of thinking that we’ve got to do all the things before the school year clock strikes midnight.  

And finally, 

7.) Have some perspective.  Yes, May is crazy, but your end of the year chaos calendar is simply filled with multiple opportunities that have been laid in your lap at the same time.  Hey, you have friends and teammates that want to spend time with you and you have been given the gift of education.  Squeeze what you can out of those opportunities that fall within your reasonable boundaries.  And let go of opportunities that simply elicit a fomo (fear of missing out) reaction.  There will be lots of other experiences on the horizon when we aren’t so bananas.

May is challenging, every year, but it’s not impossible.  Impossible is living in a school nightmare where someone just. like. you. would now give anything to have a frustratingly overextended May.  Oh, we love you and feel you so, Santa Fe, Texas. (Reference to a school shooting in the original posting date.  But we all know that perspective is all around us.  Every May and every day.)    

So sweet spring time May (or 90 degree May if you live in Houston), you are not the boss of me.  Let’s keep our eyes on the big picture, relish the present moments, pick our most important details and hang on to each other with a empathetic word and a genuine smile and a helping hand (preferably handing me a glass of wine).  We can do this.